Post by Rob W. Case on Jun 28, 2006 0:24:36 GMT -6
Two Personalities
There are two kinds of people. Those who are themselves, and those who want to be like everyone else. Those who want to be like everyone else are doing so for the sole purpose of winning more friends. Those who are themselves tend to learn who their friends really are.
Those who try to blend in:
Some people try to either act like their friends, dress like their friends, or try to act like they have the same interests in their friends. These people tend to care about quantity in the friendships that they create. One of the problems with this scenario is that peer pressure tends to be easier to give in to. Another trait to consider is that those who try to blend in with everyone else will most likely have a two-faced attitude. When they are trying to blend in with someone who may not like a friend of yours, there is more of a chance that the attention starved person may join in on the b-i-t-c-h session towards that friend. This is the birth of being two faced. You like your friend, and are nice to him. But you are also nice to the other friend (who doesn't like your other friend) and suddenly there is more of a tendency to speak ill of your other friend to “contribute to the conversation,” regardless whether or not it is character assassination towards the friend. After all, how will he know that he is being talked about (unless the one craving acceptance is the rope between a conflict)?
Those who are themselves:
Those who act themselves display a form of consistency. They aren’t afraid to be themselves, which makes them unique. Those who befriend such a person find value within them because they have a mind of their own, and will not waiver to the "in crowd." I remember meeting my friend Dave in 1991. It was my first year in a public school, and I was an outcast. My friend Dave was an outcast too, but they were far more mean to him than they were to me. In gym class (where I met him) kids would throw his clothes in the shower, turn on the water, and laugh at him. They would smack him across the face and laugh when his glasses fell off. Dave was a fun guy to tease. As I saw these people make fun of him, I could see the embarrassment in his eyes. I told him to “just ignore them.” I felt sympathy towards him. I started talking to him more and more and in Study Skills class, I invited him to my house. We became really good friends. The following summer I had to take summer school for math. There I made friends with another kid. This kid was an uncontrollable type. His mother never spanked him, which made him spoiled rotten, and he always tried to win the approval of others. Throughout our friendship, he tried to work on me on a daily basis to get rid of my friend Dave. He tried to make me think that Dave is tarnishing my image. Of course in his mind, he wondered how could he be friends with someone who is friends with one of the biggest “losers” of the school? No matter what he said, I could not break off my friendship with Dave. Within a weak moment, this kid asked me if I had broke off my friendship with Dave and I said “yes” just to get him off my back. My conscience literally tortured me like a plague and I felt really bad. When Dave and I were hanging out together at recess, that kid came up to me and said, “I thought you got rid of Dave.” I kind of shrugged my shoulders and didn’t care. He then gave me the ultimatum again. Now this kid was really getting annoying. I then told him that I am going to stay friends with Dave and that nothing is going to change my mind. After all, if I lost that kid, who cares! Anyone who would disassociate one’s self because of the friends he chooses is not a real friend to begin with. Such a person is merely on the prowl, looking for another fool who will join the crowd. Now, almost 15 years later, Dave and I still remain good friends. In fact I promised to pick him up from work tomorrow (lol). If I had gone with the crowd, I would have been out two friends, but since I stood my ground, I ended up preserving my real friend and learning that the other “friend” was not a real friend. He was a fake.
Independent thinkers will go a long way. If you seem mature and wise (which will make you seem a bit older for your age), you will be hated by the “in crowd” because such traits are “booring,” and not understandable to them. In other words, they are ignorant, and their rejection of wisdom is, in principle, willful ignorance.
When you go out into the real world, observe. You will see it everywhere. It’s hard to miss it. You just have to be focused.
There are two kinds of people. Those who are themselves, and those who want to be like everyone else. Those who want to be like everyone else are doing so for the sole purpose of winning more friends. Those who are themselves tend to learn who their friends really are.
Those who try to blend in:
Some people try to either act like their friends, dress like their friends, or try to act like they have the same interests in their friends. These people tend to care about quantity in the friendships that they create. One of the problems with this scenario is that peer pressure tends to be easier to give in to. Another trait to consider is that those who try to blend in with everyone else will most likely have a two-faced attitude. When they are trying to blend in with someone who may not like a friend of yours, there is more of a chance that the attention starved person may join in on the b-i-t-c-h session towards that friend. This is the birth of being two faced. You like your friend, and are nice to him. But you are also nice to the other friend (who doesn't like your other friend) and suddenly there is more of a tendency to speak ill of your other friend to “contribute to the conversation,” regardless whether or not it is character assassination towards the friend. After all, how will he know that he is being talked about (unless the one craving acceptance is the rope between a conflict)?
Those who are themselves:
Those who act themselves display a form of consistency. They aren’t afraid to be themselves, which makes them unique. Those who befriend such a person find value within them because they have a mind of their own, and will not waiver to the "in crowd." I remember meeting my friend Dave in 1991. It was my first year in a public school, and I was an outcast. My friend Dave was an outcast too, but they were far more mean to him than they were to me. In gym class (where I met him) kids would throw his clothes in the shower, turn on the water, and laugh at him. They would smack him across the face and laugh when his glasses fell off. Dave was a fun guy to tease. As I saw these people make fun of him, I could see the embarrassment in his eyes. I told him to “just ignore them.” I felt sympathy towards him. I started talking to him more and more and in Study Skills class, I invited him to my house. We became really good friends. The following summer I had to take summer school for math. There I made friends with another kid. This kid was an uncontrollable type. His mother never spanked him, which made him spoiled rotten, and he always tried to win the approval of others. Throughout our friendship, he tried to work on me on a daily basis to get rid of my friend Dave. He tried to make me think that Dave is tarnishing my image. Of course in his mind, he wondered how could he be friends with someone who is friends with one of the biggest “losers” of the school? No matter what he said, I could not break off my friendship with Dave. Within a weak moment, this kid asked me if I had broke off my friendship with Dave and I said “yes” just to get him off my back. My conscience literally tortured me like a plague and I felt really bad. When Dave and I were hanging out together at recess, that kid came up to me and said, “I thought you got rid of Dave.” I kind of shrugged my shoulders and didn’t care. He then gave me the ultimatum again. Now this kid was really getting annoying. I then told him that I am going to stay friends with Dave and that nothing is going to change my mind. After all, if I lost that kid, who cares! Anyone who would disassociate one’s self because of the friends he chooses is not a real friend to begin with. Such a person is merely on the prowl, looking for another fool who will join the crowd. Now, almost 15 years later, Dave and I still remain good friends. In fact I promised to pick him up from work tomorrow (lol). If I had gone with the crowd, I would have been out two friends, but since I stood my ground, I ended up preserving my real friend and learning that the other “friend” was not a real friend. He was a fake.
Independent thinkers will go a long way. If you seem mature and wise (which will make you seem a bit older for your age), you will be hated by the “in crowd” because such traits are “booring,” and not understandable to them. In other words, they are ignorant, and their rejection of wisdom is, in principle, willful ignorance.
When you go out into the real world, observe. You will see it everywhere. It’s hard to miss it. You just have to be focused.