Post by Rob W. Case on May 25, 2005 4:16:06 GMT -6
Hatred is everywhere. You will always go places and always find someone who hates you no matter what. Sometimes people hate you for no reason. Others hate you for something small and stupid, and there are those who hate people because of something someone did to another.
First off, if someone hates you then let them hate you. You cannot always change a person. You can hold them and sort of dilute the level of hatred geared toward you, but you cannot always change someone, especially if they hate you.
Everyone holds certain barriers. There are those who hide or avoid people that they hate in fear that the person they may dislike wants to reconcile if someone did them wrong, or perhaps may want to be friends. That translates into one’s own protecting their barrier (much like the Berlin Wall) against their enemy from destruction. There are those who hate one another, which translates into both people holding their barriers against one another, thus preserving their hatred. Then, there are those who hold no barriers against certain people at all, and feel comfortable with them. When you look at your friend, think about the fact that your friend and you both had no hostile barriers between each other, and that is what made you both open to becoming friends to begin with. There are even some people who hold barriers against someone, but tolerate them, and put on a favorable personality just to make the situation in which they have to work together more tolerable.
Barriers are restrictions, and if we held less restrictions against each other, we would get along with each other a lot better. Sure, people make us angry. That is human nature. There is nothing flawless about human nature. Sure there are people that are just plain evil, and those are the ones that you have to hold a caution barrier against.
Here are steps to dealing with these people.
1. Kill them with kindness. Even though you may crave violence or some other form of hurt towards your enemy, and it hurts not being able to see that hurt, the most effective way to watch your enemy crumble is to be kind to them. After all, light always conquers dark no matter what. It is hard, and it all rests on your determination and will to achieve the objective, but it is possible.
2. Let your enemy dig their own ditch: When someone hates you, or is angry at you for reasons unjustifiable, then let them dig their own ditch. What goes around comes around. They will fall slave to their anger. If you are always angry and them, and there is tension surrounding you and your enemy, then you both are united: You both are slaves to your anger towards each other. Forgiveness frees that anger.
3. Don’t allow actions to bother you. Sometimes when you encounter miserable people, they sneer at those who are not miserable. Do not take it personally. If you take it personally, then you are just another miserable person in a miserable world. You do not stand out that way. You cannot stand out that way.
4. For rude and ignorant people, sometimes you have to act like an adult. Sure, there are people in their 50’s and older who act ignorant, and intolerable. If you have the will to act more mature and tolerant than them, then you are above them. Don’t be arrogant. Be mature. You will set an example for them, even if they seem to hate you.
5. If you do the right thing, some people will hate you. If you do not always sway with the popular crowd, people will hate you. Why? You cannot accommodate everyone. Sometimes, the more I am hated by negative people, the more I know I’m doing the right thing.
Each of the five steps mentioned requires a great deal of will. They do work, but you have to be determined to make them work. I have had situation in which the above has helped. It has worked 100% of the time, every time I was determined to make it work. The same goes for you.
First off, if someone hates you then let them hate you. You cannot always change a person. You can hold them and sort of dilute the level of hatred geared toward you, but you cannot always change someone, especially if they hate you.
Everyone holds certain barriers. There are those who hide or avoid people that they hate in fear that the person they may dislike wants to reconcile if someone did them wrong, or perhaps may want to be friends. That translates into one’s own protecting their barrier (much like the Berlin Wall) against their enemy from destruction. There are those who hate one another, which translates into both people holding their barriers against one another, thus preserving their hatred. Then, there are those who hold no barriers against certain people at all, and feel comfortable with them. When you look at your friend, think about the fact that your friend and you both had no hostile barriers between each other, and that is what made you both open to becoming friends to begin with. There are even some people who hold barriers against someone, but tolerate them, and put on a favorable personality just to make the situation in which they have to work together more tolerable.
Barriers are restrictions, and if we held less restrictions against each other, we would get along with each other a lot better. Sure, people make us angry. That is human nature. There is nothing flawless about human nature. Sure there are people that are just plain evil, and those are the ones that you have to hold a caution barrier against.
Here are steps to dealing with these people.
1. Kill them with kindness. Even though you may crave violence or some other form of hurt towards your enemy, and it hurts not being able to see that hurt, the most effective way to watch your enemy crumble is to be kind to them. After all, light always conquers dark no matter what. It is hard, and it all rests on your determination and will to achieve the objective, but it is possible.
2. Let your enemy dig their own ditch: When someone hates you, or is angry at you for reasons unjustifiable, then let them dig their own ditch. What goes around comes around. They will fall slave to their anger. If you are always angry and them, and there is tension surrounding you and your enemy, then you both are united: You both are slaves to your anger towards each other. Forgiveness frees that anger.
3. Don’t allow actions to bother you. Sometimes when you encounter miserable people, they sneer at those who are not miserable. Do not take it personally. If you take it personally, then you are just another miserable person in a miserable world. You do not stand out that way. You cannot stand out that way.
4. For rude and ignorant people, sometimes you have to act like an adult. Sure, there are people in their 50’s and older who act ignorant, and intolerable. If you have the will to act more mature and tolerant than them, then you are above them. Don’t be arrogant. Be mature. You will set an example for them, even if they seem to hate you.
5. If you do the right thing, some people will hate you. If you do not always sway with the popular crowd, people will hate you. Why? You cannot accommodate everyone. Sometimes, the more I am hated by negative people, the more I know I’m doing the right thing.
Each of the five steps mentioned requires a great deal of will. They do work, but you have to be determined to make them work. I have had situation in which the above has helped. It has worked 100% of the time, every time I was determined to make it work. The same goes for you.